You spin me right round, baby right round…
So tonight I’m sitting here playing around on the computer and this Survivor show is on. It’s so many seasons in and the concept of the show is still ridiculous to me. I started thinking about these other “reality” shows that are vomited onto tv these days. At times a few are comical, but very few of them are close to real life. I got to thinking about the super spin cycle that VH1 has been firing through over the past few years and just started cracking up.
Let’s start from the start because that’s where most people begin to start when they initate the process to get going.
The Surreal Life
A blast from the past list of B-list celebrities are plcuked from their dormant lives to be thrown into a mansion togther. Over the few seasons of existence, we encounter such lovable faces as:
Okay, so we gathered people that were once noticed somewhere for something. Let’s make a show, right? Let’s make more seasons, right? Sadly someone said yes to both of those questions and that someone happened to be important at VH1.
So we go a few season into these celebrities competing for their popularity and the final third of their fifteen minutes of fame. Robin Leach apparently is not a theif because he would not the money from this show had he stolen anything from the Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous. He brings some class to the show while instructing these lovely celebs to compete in some lame events.
At the end of the day, popularity seems to be the winner and the prize somehow.
A few seasons in, we see a few sparks of love flying about. For a few minutes, America liked seeing Christopher Knight, of the Brady Bunch, dating a model that is many years younger. They spin off into a little series titled My Fair Brady. Luckily for these two, there was very little bull shit and they got married and no one really cares any more.
Then you have the largest joke to ever be broadcasted through a tv. Flava Flave and Brigitte Nielsen start bumping uglies (and they were ugly) during the filming of this junk show. Clearly being an odd couple, they get a spin off wonderfully titled Strange Love.
After the crazy experiment of love and comparison who has the more leather-like skin, Brigette and Flave part ways. For some reason I think she seemed to be the more sane of the two because Flava Flave looks like the he’s in competition with Keith Richards for drugs taken.
So he clearly needs to find love. What better way than to make a show out of this. Bring some classy ladies into a home and let Flave lose on them. They missed the part on classy. After two seasons of cat fights, flave getting random tail from every hood-rat in the house, girls spitting at each other and someone taking a shit on the steps, someone said Flave is done. THANK YOU!
FUCK! It’s not over! This cocky, selfish, moronic bitch decides she still wants to find love and she should have a man after Flavor Flave dissed her twice. But VH1 gives the woman nicknamed New York, another few chances with I Love New York, seasons one and two, keeping the spin cycle as well as the entertainment on dry. Her second season is just about to end, and I can’t wait to see how this ends. Hopefully it just ends.
Wow. I guess everyone has had their chance in the spotlight, had their 15 minutes. NOPE! These skanks from the original Flvor of Love series need to be seen again. Since they need some class, let’s film them going to charm school in the knock-out series Flavor of Love: Charm School. JUST END IT!!!!!
Well I guess for those of you that really enjoyed this and are still dizzy with delight, there is still one more spin off to come. The Surreal Life: Fame Game series should be popping up soon. Looks to be a best-of cast from previous seasons. I know I’ll be strapped to the couch watching this.
A side note to Hollywood… Please end this writer’s striek! These guys deserve to get paid. I have to deal with shuch shit TV anymore and all the best shows have been left incomplete. Someone throw me another beer.
December 27th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
You forgot about Bret Michaels (lead singer of Poison) getting his own show called Rock of Love. The second season should be on sometime soon.
the set up is the same as Flavor of Love (20 hoebags who like being on TV).
As bad Flav’s hoochies were I think Bret’s chicks are a million times skankier plus at least 33% of the Rock of Love chicks are bona fide porn actresses.
Plus you have a ready made drinking game …all you do is take a swig every time someone mentions or the show plays “Every Rose Has its Thorns”.
You’ll be totally shitfaced by the third commercial break.